interluceo | [SEMI-CLOSED MEME] MONSTER AUS

[DON'T TELL HIM THIS IS TAME HE'S BEEN FAKING LESS SHIT THAN THIS FOR LIKE, MONTHS, FUCK.

He can't help the flush of embarrassment that runs over his face when she-- god, the whole house, she's the entire fucking house-- laughs, moving over the dark skin on his cheeks and out to his ears. Taako lets out a sharp exhale, a little huff, but swallows it down when she starts speaking in earnest. Okay. Okay, so he's been punking the internet and ghosts are real. Fuck. Maybe it's not-- maybe she's not actually a ghost. Maybe this is something completely reasonable, like a projection or an animated gif or some shit, who knows. Maybe this is Miku Hatsune on steroids for the express purpose of making him piss himself. It's a toss-up at this point.]

It's, uh... 2018. Do you not... know that?

[Guess there's no calendars in here. Not that it'd help much if you didn't have hands.

God, why is he just accepting this could be a real ghost. Why is he just okay with ghosts existing. Is he in shock? He might be in shock. What if he's dead now too? Fuck.]

Do, uh... people not... see you? Normally? Is that because you don't want them to or because I'm the new fuckin Jennifer Love Hewitt or something?

Two thousand... (Lucretia breathes, and floats away for a moment on a little draft of wind, reclining onto her back as she drifts. So it's been that long. How strange, that time slides away from her this easily while she's living through the house. Decades passing her by, and her half-asleep and unaware, stretching her subconsciously slowly through rotting walls and floorboards in an attempt to occupy her thoughts.)

I didn't know. (She flips back around and comes closer to him, curious again. He keeps looking at the edges of her, like he's trying to figure out how she works, how she's come to be there at all. Lucretia doesn't mind: humans are like this. Unable to take anything supernatural at face value, always trying to come up with a way to make everything fit logically. It's sweet of them, really.)

People used to see me all the time, (she offers, shrugging,) but the last time somebody saw me was in the 1980s. Encounters are few and far between. Nobody comes to see me any more.

(Forgive her for asking, because this is all before her time but:) Who is Jennifer Love Hewitt? (a famous ghost-seer, perhaps!!!)

[I mean, she’s not wrong exactly.]

And nobody comes over to chill in this place? Not even kids like, here to run some dumb pranks or get high? And she’s like, y’know, that ghost whisperer biz, except it was just a TV show-- you probably don’t have fuckin’ tv. Do you know what TV is?

[He has only one defense mechanism and it’s saying horrible things as fast as he can manage to let them escape his mouth, just let him have this. He’s still staring at her, probably pretty rudely, trying to make this fit together in his head in a way that doesn’t make him want to vomit out of pure fear.]

So wait, if you’re uh, if you’re the whole… thing, here--

[He pauses to gesture to the entire house.]

Was this like, your house? How long have you been here? If they blew this place up or whatever would you just be shit out of luck, ‘cuz uh, I already can’t imagine living in a single space for more than six months flat.

[Someone probably needs to stop him or he’ll prattle forever. This is 100% his coping technique here. Just never stop talking. To the ghost. Right in front of you. Fuuuuuck.]

(Lucretia shrugs a shoulder, her gaze trailing away and out the window.)

Nope. Honestly, I'm surprised nobody has come to knock the house down. (Forgotten too much even for that. Her smile fades.)

Of course I know what TV is. I'm not that old.

(Honestly, it's okay that he's being rude. Lucretia's been so devoid of conversation that she'd probably take somebody yelling at the top of their lungs at her (though not well, admittedly). Besides, she can tell that he's scared of her, and that helps immensely.)

It wasn't my house, (she starts, tucking her legs up comfortably underneath her so she's hovering cross-legged before him. Her hands come to rest in her lap. He's staring at her the whole while.) I died here, and nobody else came. I thought somebody would, but I suppose it was abandoned long before I came across it. So I decided I'd have it, if nobody else wanted it.

(This is logic Taako, pure and simple.) But I think I'm stuck here because of that? I've tried going other places but it's... hard. (She frowns at her hands, reaches to push her glasses up the bridge of her nose.) It takes a lot of energy. Are you going to answer my questions too or is this just a one sided thing? I want to know why you're here.

Oh. So you can just, do that, as a ghost? Take over a place? There’s not a lotta documentation on like, ghost powers and stuff.

[Oh, right, she’s asking questions. Look, he’s just a normal ass dude, she’s a fuckin’ ghost. What the hell could she want with him? But that does bring up the… hmm. She’s not gonna get mad he was poking around to stir up some sensationalized bullshit, right? Does she know about this sort of thing? Taako doesn’t have reason to be ashamed of himself, really, but it’s not wise to fuck up someone who controls the entire house he’s standing under. Especially when she’s dead and therefore has nothing to lose.

He weighs the options in his head, tries to think if she’d be cool with it, and decides he can probably escape if shit breaks bad.]

Oh right, me, so, startin’ off, I’m Taako, from the internet. You know about the internet, right? Great. Anyway, my sister and I have like, a show? Where we uh, find supernatural stuff, freaks people out. But usually it’s not, like, uh, this… you? Like, real you. Talking to me. Still not entirely sure you’re not some Vocaloid I’ve never heard of and I’m getting super zagged here.

(She nods slowly, letting her gaze slowly drift up towards the ceiling as he talks, reclining onto her back. This is sapping her of energy, actually. It's been a long time since she's spoken to anybody; it's like she's been dormant, hibernating in the house and Taako has just woken her up. She's still bleary eyed and dozy.

At least he's easy to listen to, even though he switches subject matter very fast.)

Hi Taako, (she says listlessly, and then,) woah, back up. (She rolls slowly over to face him, propping up her elbows on nothing and chinning her hands.) I don't know Internet. Where is that? Is is nearby?

(He does a supernatural show, huh. To scare other people? Is he planning on including her in the show? Is he going to take a video of her or something.) Uh, (she says, and decides to just ignore whatever the fuck 'Vocaloid' means,) that's cool, and all, but I'm very sure that I don't show up for everybody. I don't know if you could film me and have it seen by an audience?

You know TV but not the internet? Nah, you are old.

[Taako why do you only have the settings ‘scared’ and ‘rude’.]

But uh yeah, listen, I was thinking about lying to you on this one, but it’s all one hundo percent fake. Was pretty sure ghosts didn’t exist up to like whenever the fuck I walked in here. I was just like, uh, trying to find a cool fake ghost hideout?

[Shit, are there real ghosts in the background of other episodes? He’s going to become one of those whackjobs who sits around and states really heavily at footage. But she did show up in his camera roll. And they do work in those kind of subtle effects, so…]

But I mean… could be pretty rad, if you’d play along. Really get a lot of people. Might even get a bunch of ‘em to visit to try ’n find you.

[He’s getting the impression that might be what she wants. Though if he’s wrong, he’s gonna have to find another bartering chip]

Maybe treat me with some respect, then.

(Not that he's going to: case in point, he doesn't seem to have listened to anything that she just said. About showing up on film at all? Lucretia doesn't really care, though. As previously stated she's desperate for the company so... beggars cannot be choosers. Besides, the sheer gall of his approach is making her laugh. Whenever she chuckles, the house sighs.

There's certainly a lurid appeal to putting her presence out there... it would change things drastically if people knew she was in here. She quiets then, thinking hard.)

I mean... hypothetically if I said 'yes', what would you do next? What would I have to do? (What if people flocked to the house in order to see her and they ruined it? It's old. It wouldn't stand that kind of attention. What would happen to her if harm came to it?)

[Man, the house moving when she speaks is the thing that gets him the most. She obviously doesn’t want it hurt, so there’s probably little chance of her bringing it down on him if she gets super pissed, but at the same time, he feels like he’s not just talking to a person. He’s having a conversation with some entity, like a dragon or a giant, something that could probably kill him in one shot. But he’s not… really concentrating on that. Or he’s trying very, very hard not to. He should’ve just left. But this is opportunity, and more than that, he does feel very slightly guilty for assuming ghosts were Totally Not Real and haha here he is, ain’t he. But she asks, so he answers, beginning to pace back and forth as he spitballs ideas.]

I mean, you’d have to meet my sister, natch— even if we don’t do this thing, please ruin her ass, it’ll be the funniest fuckin’ thing, seriously. But uhh, past that, I mean we bring the cameras in here and we get some choreo goin’! We go on like there’s nothin’ here, you go rattling windows and fuckin’ up the floor, we act all freaked out… I’unno. Like the rest of the stuff.

[Not that she’s seen that, but he’ll get to that part.]

I guess we could like, defeat you or whatever, or if you wanted to just hide in the background of shots and we’ll just pretend we don’t see you, it could be uh, could be really funny. I mean, we still gotta look cool, gotta impress the fans and all, but they go nuts on studying footage and seeing little blips ’n stuff? Could drive ‘em nuts for years.

(To be fair, even if Lucretia weren't so intricately tied to the house he still wouldn't be talking to a person. Just a ghost. Lucretia's never seen herself as particularly threatening before; but then she's never had cause to be, either. So she watches him pace curiously. He's putting a lot more thought into all of this than she thought that he might and while she'd initially been intrigued by the plan it's starting to feel like... a lot, maybe. All she wants is conversation; she doesn't want to be exposed. Especially not in an embarrassing way like Taako is suggesting.

Lucretia opens her mouth hesitantly.)

I don't know, I think... (but her words trail off into nothing, because he's still going, still babbling away. Lucretia can understand that some of it is nerves and anticipation of the gag he's planning but she won't stand for being ignored. Not when he's talking about her like that! She stares at him for a while longer, then gathers herself up and says,)

Stop, (over the top of him and the sound comes from every corner of the house. A little wave of indignant energy makes all the windows rattle in their frames; the floor shakes once, a light, frustrated roll underneath of Taako's feet. Into the silence that follows, Lucretia swells, growing a little larger until she's impossible for him to discount.)

I don't want to do that. I just want to talk to you, and– your sister. That would be fine.

[He’d like to say he’s more composed when the house itself starts yelling at him, but he’s really not. Taako’s cut off by the entire structure apparently angry with him, and he stumbles once, like he’s about to just outright bolt. He’s been in enough situations where he needs to know how to run the hell off, and if he wasn’t feeling so cornered as she swells, he probably would. Taako swallows harder than he’d like, forcing his hands to stop clenching so goddamn hard.]

Alright, alright, jeez. Coulda just said so, not started the, uh, bite size earthquake.

[You’re the rude boy here Taako! It’s you! Stop this!]

I can call her. Or whatever. She’s scouting other uh, locales 'n stuff. You're not gonna get offended on the behalf of all ghosts everywhere, right?

I was trying, but you weren't listening to me.

(Now that she's made her point though, she's returned to her usual size, and the house has stopped its various carrying on. Everything is very still, and silent.

She regards him in silence for a long moment. He doesn't seem all that cocky any more. Now he just seems startled, uncertain. Lucretia deflates. She's scared him properly now, and he won't go away and bring his sister back. He'll leave entirely and he'll write off the house as a do not disturb zone in his mind and he'll forget about her. She'll have to go back to sleep in the floorboards for another couple decades. Maybe longer.)

I'm sorry, (she says hesitantly, lowering a little so she can address him at eye level, shrinking back near one of the walls.) I'm not– I just want to talk. Please don't go.

[He still sort of feels like his heart is pounding in his ears, like he really should fucking go, but he has no promises she won't like, kidnap him or die or something. He's been the stupid dude in a fake ghost house plenty of times. Maybe it's time to be the stupid did in a real one. He releases his hands, gives the wrists a bit of a shake, trying to diffuse the tension there without making it obvious.]

Nah, nah, it's chill, we can... we can just hang. It's fine.

[Maybe he can just... answer stuff for her. That's cool, right? If she's been here, she probably has a lot of questions, most of which he's talked directly over.]

So uh, you... probably wanna know stuff about the rest of the world, huh? What's goin' on with that?

Okay.

(She's silent for a moment, as if giving him a chance to bolt out of the room. She wouldn't hold it against him if he did. She's been too audacious. When he doesn't run away, she slowly creeps out of her hiding place in the corner of the house and comes to sit near him, keen to play the part. No more scaring. From now on she is Casper the Friendly Ghost.)

I'd... love to know more. Whatever you want to tell me. You said it's 2018, right? What is living in 2018 like?

[He thinks about it. He really does. He could run off and tell Lup nothing was here or he couldn't get in and never talk about this again. But... that feels like giving up on the tip of the iceburg of something amazing. She's a fucking ghost. Ghosts are real. He's got a good streak at not dying and knowing when to bail, but this is just too compelling to let go. He and Lup started doing this to see what was out there. He can't turn away once he's found it.]

Uh, I mean, tech is kinda way out there. You can get on a computer from basically anywhere.

[He pulls his phone out again, opening it with his thumbprint. Both home and lock screens are of him and Lup, obviously, from some of their best selfies.]

Y'ever seen one of these? Like, a smartphone, not a flip thing. What was tech like when you, uh, got stuck here?

It wasn't anything, (she admits, reaching out to touch her fingers to the screen of his phone. This of course is a pointless gesture because she can't physically touch anything; it's the thought that counts.)

What... is this? (She takes a moment to read all the little titles of the squares on the homepage, then looks at the picture behind it all. The two people in the picture look very similar to each other; this must be Taako and his sister. She's laughing at the camera, her arm thrown around Taako's shoulders, their cheeks smashed together affectionately. It makes Lucretia smile, too.)

She looks like fun.

[Part of him expects her to actually interact with it somehow, like she's just suddenly going to be whole and real and-- well, she's real, he's not just living in a world where this isn't happening. Idly, he wonders if he slammed his head into the doorframe on the way in and now he's rapidly hallucinating. That's just as viable as finding a real life fucking ghost that's now baffled by his cell phone. Like. How did he even get here.]

Uh, yeah, best person in the world. Besides me. Helps we have the same face so we don't have to argue about who looks better.

[He looks at his phone again, tries to think of what to open that won't immediately be confusing. He figures that'll be all of it, so he just taps on the browser, opening up to a Google search.]

So uh, you can figure out anything you want just by typing it in here. Actually, you know what might be weird? Hang on, I can hear you. Try this.

[He presses his finger down on the home button, pulling up the voice recognition.]

Ask it something.

She looks better, (Lucretia says offhandedly, shrugging a translucent shoulder. What? She's dead, she can say whatever she wants, consequences don't exist.

Coming a little closer, she hovers precariously over his shoulder to watch him flick across the homepage screens. She's very careful not to accidentally merge into him, because she's heard that it's cold. Sometimes she passes through people that can't see her just to watch them stop and shiver, maybe rub their arms. Leaving a mark any way she possibly can.

Watching him open up different apps is so interesting and curious, but when he holds down the button at the bottom center and holds it out to her however, she immediately blanks.)

Um... (What are you supposed to ask one of these things? Lucretia clears her throat awkwardly.) Uh– how are you?

[He makes a face at her, but doesn't pick up with the jab. Whatever, he doesn't need her to be attracted to him, he has a hot boyfriend, It's Fine. But when Lucretia just stumbles out the question, he can't help himself, bursting into loud laughter. The phone does still respond, a robotic woman's voice chiming back a I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that somewhere between his peals of humor.

Righting himself from where he'd leaned back, he pretends to wipe a tear from his eye as he closes the voice recognition to reset it.]

Ohmygod, that was amazing-- no, like, it's not a person, it like, answers fact questions. Ask it like, about a place, or an animal or history or whatever.

[He resets the voice command, grinning at her to try again.]

Oh, (she says stupidly while Taako laughs, trying not to get embarrassed. How's she supposed to know it isn't like a robot, or that it doesn't have its own personality?? She's out of her depth, here! At least she's cleared whatever tension was left lingering in the space between them. At least she made him laugh.

She watches Taako reset the device, trying to think of what she should ask it. As always, can't quite resist being petty, so when he holds it out to her, she folds her arms, and raises an eyebrow.)

What's the dictionary definition of smart-ass?

[God, she just continues to surprise him. He's waiting for her to ask some technical question, but her deadpan delivery of a great zag leaves him with a hand to his chest, mocking offense at her as the phone chimes out smart-ass: a person who is irritating because they behave as if they know everything.]

Wow. Super rude. I introduce you to the wide world of cell phones and you use this power and knowledge to dunk on me. How dare.

[He doesn't actually look like he's mad, mostly from the grin on his face, but he's gotta keep the bit.]

See, you fit in just fine to this whole new age biz.

(She looks very pleased with herself, though her expression immediately shifts to astonished as the phone immediately parrots a reply to her. So it works like a dictionary? He said that it answers fact questions too, didn't he? And he's been carrying something like that around in his pocket?)

A cell phone, (she echoes, instantly curious.)

Can you tell me more? What else does it do?

[Nice, she's got more questions he can answer, she's back on top. Surprisingly, he's kind of lost most of his worry that he's here talking to a ghost at this point. Sometimes, you roll with life's punches. Sometimes the afterlife exists and it's ghost houses that backsass you with your own Siri. That's just how it is.]

I mean, all sorts of things. Calls people, uh, sends texts, takes pictures... there's like, games and shit. Man, you have no idea what Twitter is, huh, this is more than I thought it was.

Okay: what doesn't it do?

(She really wants to just– take it from him and look at it cuz he's wavering it all over the place as he talks, gesturing with his hands. She can't hold anything though. Nothing material, in any case. It's so frustrating.)

Tell me what Twitter is, (she says, loudly and clearly. She's trying to ask the phone. When nothing happens, she quickly adds,) please.

[He snorts, still chuckling a little as he brings the phone down again.]

Here. Can you like-- tell me if this is weird, but you can't like move my hand or something, right? It's gonna be really hard if I have to keep doing this. Like, if not, whatever, I'll keep being your weird internet shepard.

[He lays the phone out on his left hand, and pokes at the button for his twitter feed with his right. It opens up onto his timeline, which he scrolls through.]

See, each of these is a person. You pick whose stuff you wanna see, and then at any point you can view their thoughts or whatever info they put out. So you can tell everyone in the world about the dope food you just ate, or how much this movie sucked, or like, that I'm explaining Twitter to a ghost I guess?

[Is he gonna have to explain memes soon?? Shit.]

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